Miracle
by TinyPrints
Summary: The aftermath of the Arctic Expedition leaves Raj feeling guilty, even after all has been "forgiven". Seeking to improve his karma-and ease his mind-he invites a distressed friend to visit him. If she happens to be a genuine miracle worker, then that can only be a bonus. Funny and sweet, and maybe a little S&M (Not the traditional definition, of course. Can you imagine?)
1. Pilot

_To: Matilda_

_From: Raj_

_Subject: Hey_

I'm sorry.

-Raj

* * *

_To: Raj _

_From: Matilda _

_Subject: RE: Hey_

Thanks. Skype chat later this week?

Love,

Mattie

* * *

_To: Matilda _

_From: Raj _

_Subject: RE:RE: Hey_

Sounds good. Actually I have a question for you...?

3

* * *

_To: Raj _

_From: Matilda _

_Subject: What did you do now?_

See subject.

* * *

_To: Matilda _

_From: Raj _

_Subject: HEY!_

What makes you think I did anything?

...

Yes, I did something. My karma is kicking my ass right now, it was that bad.

* * *

_To: Raj _

_From: Matilda _

_Subject: I'm not a bloody miracle worker._

...But I need to get away from here.

We'll discuss what you did on Skype. Thursday, take your lunch break at 11am.

* * *

_To: Matilda _

_From: Raj _

_Subject: RE: I'm not a bloody miracle worker._

You totally are a miracle worker.

See you then.

Thank you.

* * *

AN

I do not own Big Bang Theory, or Matilda.

Following: Those authory notes that you can feel free to skip.

Matilda is in my top 10 characters of all time. She's smart, sassy, sensitive, and brilliantly written. And she has mental superpowers! How cool is that!

And I like the Big Bang Theory. The characters are funny and somewhat unique, and it delves into an important culture of our time-that of the nerds.

That said, I'm A) Not a fan of Shamy B) Am tired of the Shenny stereotypes, and C) Aren't that big a fan of Shenny either.

I always wanted to see Matilda grow up, and the Big Bang 'verse seems to be a beautiful place to introduce another child genius. I'm not sure if I'll stick this out, or if I'll like how its going. I definitely don't want MarySue!Matilda, because that would be a truly terrible thing.

So, if you're interested in another take on BBT, want to see an adult Matilda, want to provide feedback, or any combination of the above, join in the ride.


	2. Episode 1 Part 1

_Episode 1.1- The Socialization Abnormalit_y

* * *

A typical lunch would consist of Sheldon introducing a non-relevant conversation topic, and the more worldly three discussing their love lives. Of course, when no one wants to discuss their love lives, this can be a bit tricky.

Leonard had been trying to duck questions about Penny and himself by targeting Howard and Raj. Howard had been redirecting with questions about Penny to avoid talking about continued failures at dance clubs and bars. Normally Raj would lump in with Howard, but today he was madly texting on his phone, and dead to the rest of the world. Sheldon had been discussing the minute flaws within a paper that would form the basis for a seminar that afternoon, and how he would strategically use these flaws to bring down the entire premise. Leonard and Howard both preferred question-ducking to academic warfare, however, and Raj was engrossed in his phone.

Leonard, feeling clever, asked, "So, did you have any luck at that goth club the other night?"

Howard replied, "Yeah, they were flocking all over. Right, Raj?"

Raj didn't reply. Howard kicked him under the table.

Raj looked up, said "Oh, yeah, sure." and went back to his phone. Howard glared at him a few minutes, then asked, "How's Penny doing?"

Leonard replied, "Great...I guess...who are you texting, Raj?"

Raj didn't look up. "No one."

Howard snorted, then said, "Yeah right. Is it a phone service? Because-"

That got Raj to look up from his phone. "NO!"

"-I know a couple really great-oh. Then who is it?"

"It is no one!"

"Yeah right." Howard reached for the phone, which Raj held back. Within minutes the two were scuffling like fifth-graders over the last chocolate brownie.

Sheldon spoke up. "You know, some organisms fight to show dominance throughout the mating season. Of course, their behavior is much more civilized than what any of you bring to the table."

Leonard pushed Howard back into his chair, then asked irritably, "Will you stop that? God."

Howard straighted out his shirt, then said, "I just want to know who he's texting!"

Leonard asked, "Is it a girl?"

Silence. Howard asked, "Wait, what? You got a girl's number? How did you get a girl's number?"

Annoyed, Raj said, "Because I talked to her. Obviously."

Howard snorted. "Really. Because last I checked, you needed to be halfway to grasshopper heaven to chat up a girl.

Curiosity spiked, Leonard asked, "Can you really talk to girls now, Raj? Because I think this is something I would need to see."

Howard, skeptical, said, "Yeah. I think an experiment is called for."

The magic word caught Sheldon's attention finally (he had been ranting about the lecturer's failure to understand particle physics) with an "Oh, an experiment? I do love a good experiment! While this would fall under social namby-pamby voodoo normally, I will make an exception-provided we refrain from discussing Penny and Leonard's failed attempts at a pathetic relationship."

Raj's eyes darted down to his phone, and then spoke. "Agreed. I bet I can talk to the next girl to walk in here." Leonard laughed. "Agreed. Terms?"

Raj paused, then replied. "One choice from the loser's comic collection."

Leonard cheerfully replied, "Done!"

Howard, skeptical: "Alright. You sure about this?"

Sheldon interrupted. "Well of course he is sure, he suggested the whole premise! While flawed, I will accept it for the time being. We can work on your scientific method later, Dr. Koothrappali."

Raj sighed.

Howard and Leonard watched the door for a few minutes of tense silence, when the next female walked into the cafeteria. Howard wolf-whistled. "Would you look at that! You definitely didn't draw the short stick, my friend."

Leonard privately agreed, while recognizing that for Howard, anything with a "rack and ass" was attractive.

Raj visibly braced himself, got up, and walked over to the lunch line, where the unknown woman was checking her options. As he approached, the woman looked up and watched him approach, half-smiling. At this point, the three back at the table expected Raj to bail, at which point they would share a good laugh and collect on their bets later in the afternoon. They might have been disappointed when Raj leaned up against the counter, and began visibly (and audibly, although the distance was too great to make out words) chat up the newcomer. They were shocked when she laughed, and threw her arms around the man in a very close embrace. Then wondering what they had missed, as she began whispering in his ear.

Howard whispered, "Does he have a secret identity we don't know about?"

Leonard shrugged, amazed.

* * *

Meanwhile, the woman and Raj pulled apart chuckling. She said, "You owe me for that!"

Raj exclaimed, "But you love pranks!"

"Of course. You know I love jokes, as well as I know you're cashing in on this. What are you getting from this?"

Raj sighed. "Probably three first-edition comic books. Or something close to that."

She chuckled. "Ha! Knew it! I demand a ladies night, you and I. You provide the wine."

"What? But you have ridiculous standards!"

She raised one dark eyebrow, and said, "Yes, and you're pretending that you can chat up a lassie with no problem."

"Lass?"

"I was traveling. I picked up some new words I liked."

"Traveling? Why...oh."

"Yes, 'oh'."

Raj winced. "How are you doing?"

Deep breath. "Better. This should be saved for girls night."

"OK. Why don't we catch up away from the guys?"

"So that you can maintain your image for another quarter of an hour? Alright."

As they walked over, Raj said, "Excuse me a minute."

* * *

He sauntered over to his table, where Howard and Leonard were staring at him, slightly gape-mouthed. Sheldon had returned to his meal, but looked up at his approach. Raj, with a lot of sass, said, "And that's how its done, boys."

He then walked back to the table, where the woman was waiting.

* * *

When he got there, she hugged him again tightly and whispered, "Its good to see you, Raj."

Hugging back, he said, "You too, Matilda."

* * *

Sheldon, needing the last word, said, "Well, that was hardly a scientific trial. At least this afternoon I'll have a good old-fashioned academic tear-down to administer."After: Raj and Matilda catch up, while Sheldon whines about not getting his way.

* * *

_After the commercial break: Raj and Matilda catch up, while Sheldon whinges about not getting his way._


End file.
